I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
