I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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