It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
