There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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