i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
