Acid is not a monday night drug
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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