hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
