What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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