so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
