glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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