Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
