Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
