Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
