thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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