I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
