Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
