She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
