I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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