Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
