I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
