You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
