Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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