In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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