You were right. It hurts to walk today.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
