She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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