were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
