am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
