The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
