No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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