yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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