Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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