guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
