Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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