I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
