Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
