I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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