my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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