Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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