i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
