Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So vagazzling was a success
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
