I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Panties = found
Randomize
