But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
