it wasn't lemon gatorade
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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