And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have feelings that need drinking.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
