You really coming over, don't trick.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Randomize
