so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
