is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
