the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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