are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
