Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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